Fredesende 'The Devil'

I have not made a CK2 post in a bit... not least because I've played multiple games since the AAR I was documenting here and I have sort of lost the narrative thread of my screenshot record. I will try to recover that at some point. As a bone for those that may be interested, I am resurrecting a forum post I made over at Paradox in Q3 of 2013 for those that may not have seen it there.

The History

The game was an 867 start with a custom dynasty (Smiðring). As a Norse/Norse County of Nantes I usurped the Kingdom of Aquitaine and destroyed France. The goal became not to paint the map, but instead keep Aquitaine's direct borders near to what we recognize as the French region, and instead place dynasty members on every throne I could and prop them up. It was a frantically active game that became a Norman Catholic effort supporting landless invasions, pressing other people's claims, joining war after war to defend family members under attack, 10 crusades (3 alone for Jerusalem) the Caliphate converted to Tengri, the Ilkhanate ate the Mongol Horde, republics rose and fell,.... The game was "successful" in that the Dynasty held thrones in independent kingdoms of Asturias, Portugal, Lotharingia, Croatia, Bavaria, Greece, Jerusalem, Lithuania, Norway, Denmark, Africa, Alba, Sicily, the joint crowns of Ireland/England, and numerous dukes and counts. Almost any war anywhere in Europe involved sides of the family squabbling over titles.

I had had no liege in the entire game. Some revolts and stresses, nothing too threatening. And every ruler male.

I began to eager look forward to taking the realm and families into EUIV.

The Setting

It was 1400 and Buliwyf X died young, after being maimed on a Crusade. One of my hard case rulers in early 1200s had taken the realm primogeniture, so this left four year old Fredesende to serve as queen.

By luck or design I have very little experience with a non-male ruler. At first, bribes and honorarium kept people off my case. (They like to complain about a woman on the throne, and a young ruler, and a new ruler.)

I sent Fredesende to tutor with mom - Queen of Sicily - figuring mother, correct dynasty (she was in the same family, though distantly related), etc. would be helpful - I couldn't go traitless after all - but Fredesende became wroth and greedy (and envious, maybe?).

Then factional pressure began to mount. My spymaster was busy as a bee, scheming people to behave. I had a nice bank of cash, and used it to keep mercenaries on staff, delaying factions. Then the first revolt, but I could see it coming and moved the retinues and mercenaries there preemptively and rapidly destroyed the faction leader's forces and then chased the others to ground.

The Killing Begins

A dangerous faction developed to install an uncle on the throne. I was concerned enough that I undertook to see him dead, and he was murdered. But my plot was discovered, and she was named Kinslayer. Another faction, another family member. Another murder.

A faction leader met his death.
A revolt, nearly unseated me, but was put down with liberal use of mercenaries.

The Pope offered to cleanse me of the kinslayer sin... I refused (out of spite). But gave him back papal investiture.

A faction proposed a family member to rule in my stead. Then another. I couldn't 'scheme' fast enough. I turned to murder again, and they all fell to the knife, heading off each faction as it formed.

Finally married and gave birth to a daughter. Malus for queen, malus for female heir, malus for dishonorable, malus for kinslayer with dynasty members on every throne that mattered...

The Devil

Bribe after bribe. Murder began to follow murder.

I knew there was no turning back when the game gave Fredesende the nickname of 'The Devil'.

And the murders piled up, one after another after another. Family members of all ages from Egypt to Aragon to Alba - dying green and bloated - old men, children in their minority, cousins so distant I barely knew why they even had a claim, nephews, nieces (once even the young girl I had as a ward to keep her father in line). I pictured each of them crying alone and begging as their relatives pushed them forward onto the knife simply by whispering their name for the throne... I had to get a new, non-dynasty spymaster when I couldn't keep the current one from joining the very factions he was battling. I started scanning the claimant list, anticipating who would be next.

She was excommunicated, but rapidly paid to have that go away. The murders continued.

In all my games I have never seen such an orgy of violence. Without exaggeration it was easily dozens of murders. I lost count. For year after year it was simply a matter of who to kill next.

But she was not going to let the unbroken line of rulers end before 1444 (and EUIV export) and Fredesende was a domineering angry woman who would not be put aside (yes, role playing this had firmly taken hold).

She finally had a son, but that hardly mattered anymore. The hate she had sown was too deep and too broad.

A powerful 70% faction was presenting the claim of her aunt - the wife of the King of Ireland & England. The fighting would start at any moment and all of Europe would rally to the cause of the rebels. It would be unwinnable. I was amazed that things had gone on so long, but she would not surrender. The order was made and the aunt died, as had all the others, and her name was again revealed.

The King of Ireland and England would not be denied, and in turn Fredesende was foully murdered to die cursing his name.

The coronation of the 2 month old King Joscelin of Aquitaine in 1426 was a healing balm on the nerves and sanity of all of Europe and the extended dynasty.

I saved the game. And exited the program.
His reign had to wait until another time. I was drained.


And that is the tale of Fredesende Smiðring, the first of her name, Queen of Aquitaine, and 'The Devil'.

Epiloque

The really sad part is that after taking the game into EUIV, the Joscelin's son Turstin was the last of the Smiðring dynasty and the realm of Aquitaine that Fredesende had doomed herself to keep for her heirs came under the control of the Rozgonyi family. Only two generations and it was all for naught...

My Superbowl XLVIII Post Mortem

Frankly, I was rooting for Seattle (barely) but was prepared for a Denver win. I wanted a close game. I expected a close game. I like fast, aggressive defensive play, but thought Seattle looked a little shaky against the 49ers (certainly SanFran moved the ball on them repeatedly), and was worried that the Broncos would take advantage as a result.

I've harbored a childhood love of the Seahawks because my first NFL branded ball was one of those cheap white plastic ones in Seattle's expansion season ...my brother and friends always gave me trouble about that ball, but it had that awesome eagle logo on the side. (Still one of my favorite logos in sports.)

I've rooted for the Broncos in every Superbowl they have played in previously. I rooted particularly hard during the Orange Crush year, and I've always thought it was the height of marketing stupidity for the soft drink company to have squashed that moniker.

It may be notable that tickets were not selling and were available at face value as late as Thursday/Friday, from what I hear and that by itself is stunning. Reports are that Friday and Saturday the city started filling with Seattle fans, and reporters at the game are saying it was the loudest and most boisterous Superbowl crowd in memory. I must wonder if the 12th Man decided to show up for the game when it became affordable (other than the plane tickets - incidentally, still the first Superbowl where both teams had to travel more than 2,000 miles). The unexpected noise may have contributed to the first play snap, and Denver looked just plain rattled for their next several series.

That rattled bit is important, Denver looked like they threw their game plan out of the window and went into desperation mode too early. It was 2-5-8-15.... Easily reachable with a two capable drives, but by the end of the 1st quarter Denver looked like a team scrambling to recover from a 4th quarter deficit (Superbowl records for passing set by Manning and Thomas on the receiving end, notably). Seattle went man-to-man coverage and let their pass rush go...

Which turned the good game I was hoping for, into the farce that was far less enjoyable than I wanted. Even if the team I wanted came out on top. (At my house we decided that it was all because of the Kurt Russell team intros. The Seattle intro seemed better scripted and better delivered, and that clearly doomed the mountain equines.)

As for the commercials, I thought that they were largely complete flops - unimaginative, lazy, and not worth the $4M USD for 30 seconds. Sadly, many of the ones I thought were particularly horrid were getting buzz in my feeds.

The true exception was perhaps Coke's America the Beautiful ad. That made me want to go out and purchase a pallet of Coke products and hand them out to my friends. That took bravery and heart (perhaps particularly given they are a Georgia based company) to try and remind people what America really is, and not this 'Murica mythology that seems to be gaining hold of late. The web backlash and hate against them for it was notable (for examples: http://deadspin.com/dumb-people-mad-at-multilingual-america-the-beautiful-1514567876). I also heard discussed on the radio this morning, with some people quite upset and promising to switch to Pepsi over it... idiots.

So, the ones I enjoyed in no particular order: Coke, time travel machine Doritos, Cheerios, Ellen's dancing (I don't even remember the product), and the Matrix Kia. The rest was largely junk, crap, and forgettable.

The half-time show sucked. Again. To be fair, I have thought there was really only ever one good show (there were a couple of others that were okay), and that was Prince who delivered a true musical performance. I've never seen Bruno Mars perform, heck don't think I've ever even seen his picture. What I got was standard, modern, & over-produced mish-mash of noise pasted into a package of 50s pop presentation. It appears uninspired and unoriginal from concept to delivery - from the dance moves to the clothes. The musical arrangement was also poor - from the long drum solo to start and the rest of the intro setup which just ate time before the performance started. It was poorly staged and weak. And again a horrible decision to follow the energetic movement of the RHCP (who were not bad, and are obviously proud of looking very good for their age) with that slow syrup. Bad show.

So, all in all... one of the worst Superbowls in my recent memory.